So I don’t really understand why, unless she is dwelling on regular sister stuff arguments that we had as teenagers (20+ years ago), but my sister seems to really dislike me.  She has made it painfully clear that she has a very low opinion of me – she actually told me once how surprised she was by how superior her morals were to mine.  But there is such a weird cycle at work – she says things like that, and of course I’m hurt and stunned, and somehow that prevents me from being able to respond.  So I never correct her – when she interprets my words to have the worst possible meaning, when she describes me in a way that just doesn’t fit who I know myself to be, I cannot correct her.  I allow her to continue thinking those things about me.  It pretty much, well, sucks.  Our mother died, and I’ve been trying to rekindle a sisterly relationship with her, but she cannot respond when I say “I love you,” she does not invite me to her important events, she says mean things about me to her children (whom I adore, and it really hurts when I hear them repeat her judgments of me).  I kind of want to give up, but I also really don’t want this person walking around with such an inaccurate and negative view of who I am.  How do I get her to know the real me – as opposed to the 16 year old me that she seems to think I still am?  I’m 38 years old, she’s 40, and I certainly don’t presume that she is the same person she was back in high school (the last time we lived together), why can’t she give me the same benefit of the doubt?  I wasn’t a monster in high school, I was just a teenager, and sometimes teenagers are remarkably insensitive.  So it’s just my assumption that that is when this started.